April 18, 2017

Since Suicide Squad debuted on HBO this past Saturday, so we had a family movie night and watched the whole thing while eating Marie Callender pot pies. Jealous?

Now my daughter wants us to dress up as the Suicide Squad for Halloween…and she wants to be Enchantress. I’m only saying no because that would mean that I would have to be Harley Quinn, and we saw enough fatties dressed as slutty clowns last Halloween.

Not that there’s anything wrong with this Harley Quinn – she was really fun to watch, although only without Joker. I was legitimately made uncomfortable by the 12 minutes or so that Joker was in the film, so I guess that means that Jared Leto did a good job, as annoying as his portrayal was. I still stand by my assertion that this Joker is not THE Joker, but merely a later Joker, possibly Robin…time will tell…

So…why did they act like Will Smith wasn’t the lead in this movie while marketing it? I mean, his performance was classic Will Smith, nothing different than he usually delivers – but he puts butts in seats, so I don’t understand why this was marketed as the Harley and Joker show, instead of the Fresh Prince of Midway City. Speaking of which, where the fuck is Midway City? Chicago, right? Why are all the locations in DC made up?

My favorite squad member was Captain Boomerang. I thought I hated Jai Courtney like I hate Miles Teller, but nope. I’m not sure if it was the mutton chops or the unicorn, but he was my favorite.

The soundtrack was absolutely on point – Ballroom Blitz, Spirit in the Sky, Bohemian Rhapsody…wait, does this movie have the same soundtrack as Wayne’s World? I listened to the whole thing on Spotify and I was impressed. I could do without the Skrillex, but the rest was pretty good, especially the Bohemian Rhapsody cover by Panic! At the Disco. That boy has pipes!

Suicide Squad was fun to watch (especially compared to the torture of watching BvS ), but the ending was a dumpster fire. I won’t get all spoiler-y here, but my main complaint was the “spinning debris ring of doom” – come on, can’t you be more creative than that? I just saw the same thing in X-Men: Apocalypse , the Fantastic Four reboot and countless recent films. Yes, a bunch of spinning, floating junk is very, very scary – but how about trying something else…like…biblical plagues? Or maybe just setting the whole planet on fire. Wouldn’t that be quicker?

I feel like all the DC movies so far have been a build up to Wonder Woman – even though the actual intention has been to be a build up to Justice League. Except for Aquaman, I can’t bring myself to be very excited about Justice League. #sorrynotsorry

Come on Wonder Woman…please don’t suck!

Year – 2016
Rating – PG-13
Runtime – 123 minutes
Genre – DC Comics
Director(s) – David Ayer
Writer(s) – David Ayer
Actor(s) – Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Jared Leto, Viola Davis, Jai Courtney
BOB Rating – Three BOBs
Favorite Quote – "Ames, if this man shoots me, I want you to kill him... and I want you to go clear my browser history." - Griggs (Ike Barinholtz)