Hannibal Rising

The only thing more gag inducing than sitting down to watch a movie that you know includes cannibalism is seeing ‘The Weinstein Company’ as the first slide in the opening credits. That being said, Hannibal Rising is somewhat of a boring slog, although I don’t know if I would be felt the same way if […]

Jennifer’s Body

I couldn’t stop looking at Megan Fox’s freaky toe thumbs. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Mar 29, 2018 at 5:04pm PDT Seriously, her thumbs look like TOES! I had to entertain myself somehow…most of the movie was shit-fuck-boring. I couldn’t bring myself to care about any of the characters at all – whether […]

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

About halfway through, I found myself wondering if they would ever stop singing, craving a cigarette madly. I’ve never been much into Broadway Musicals, even as a self-professed Drama Fag throughout High School and College. I can pinpoint my rapid loss of interest to exactly the moment that I wasn’t cast as Rizzo in my […]

2001 Maniacs

The South shall rise again. Preferably with a taste for human flesh. Robert Englund stars in this remake of Two Thousand Maniacs! – H. G. Lewis’ classic tale of Confederate Cannibalism. The story is essentially the same – Brigadoon plus Blood Feast. Eight Northerners get lost on their way to Spring Break and opt to […]

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

How did she fit that gun in her vag? Furthermore, once she got it up there, how did she get it to stay there? Although there are many other fascinating topics of conversation that I could expound upon relating to the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre – there’s only one that comes to mind […]

Sin City

In the past couple of years, I’ve reviewed many comic books movies – the great, the mediocre, the bad, the craptacular and the almost completely unwatchable. But in all of these cases, never once have I been interested enough to investigate the source material. Until Sin City, that is. Yup, I borrowed Sin City from […]

Motel Hell

Strange…so strange. On the surface, Motel Hell is exactly what it seems to be – an amalgam of earlier slasher flicks; The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Last House on the Left, etc. – but as you watch, there are moments that are just so strange that they defy explanation. It’s obvious from the start that […]

Wrong Turn

Saturday night, flipping through the cable guide, trying to find something suitable to watch. After vacillating between Willard and Equilibrium, my husband passed by Wrong Turn. I stopped him and demanded that he go back and we read the description. He said that he didn’t think this would be the type of thing I would […]

The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre

It was on again last night. How could I not watch Renée Zellweger’s finest film? Truthfully, I view this as her finest film. Normally, I can’t stand the squinty eyed little rat, but she’s not so bad when she’s being chased around by a chainsaw. This is also one of Matthew McConaughey’s best. He plays […]

Hannibal

Oh GOD, this movie pissed me off so much. First off, I know it’s useless to compare a film to its literary counterpart. I know. Trust me, I know…Everyone’s first instinct is to point out the little differences and favorite parts that were cut out. It’s to be expected when you turn a 1,000 page, […]