December 28, 2006
December 28, 2006
The South shall rise again. Preferably with a taste for human flesh.
Robert Englund stars in this remake of Two Thousand Maniacs! – H. G. Lewis’ classic tale of Confederate Cannibalism. The story is essentially the same – Brigadoon plus Blood Feast. Eight Northerners get lost on their way to Spring Break and opt to join a Civil War Anniversary Celebration. It doesn’t take much more than the promise of dirty barnyard sex and free moonshine to get kids to forget all about Spring Break, does it?
Robert Englund’s partner in crime was Lin Shaye, AKA the skanky landlord in Kingpin and the mummified tanned neighbor in There’s Something About Mary. She mostly cooked in the movie, although she had her fair share of killing, too. Compared to the other characters she’s played, she actually looked pretty hot.
The special effects were surprisingly good for such low profile film. The first death was a girl being drawn and quartered…and it was way more graphic and realistic than a similar scene in Faces of Death. Other ghastly ends included a beer bong full of acid, anal impalement with a hot poker, death by milling…and one dude had his junk eaten off by a chick with big metal jaws like that guy in the James Bond movies – although she also resembled Baraka from Mortal Kombat. It made no sense for a Civil War era woman to be equipped with jaws like a bear trap, but it sure was fun to watch. The best deaths were the ones at the very end of the movie…I don’t want to ruin it, but the trick involves barbed wire.
Eli Roth cameos as Justin, the same character he played in Cabin Fever. I thought that Justin had gotten killed off in Cabin Fever, but maybe I am remembering wrong. Or maybe it was just his dog that died? Either way, he’s back with a dead armadillo and he wants a ride.
This is the movie for my old high school buddies that do Civil War re-enactments on the weekend. I think they’d enjoy it quite a bit, especially while drinking a bit of the S’MORES FLAVORED SCHNAPPS.
I was delighted to find that a sequel is already being made. It’s slated for release next year and so far the title is to be 2001 Maniacs: Beverly Hellbillys. It sounds cheestastic, so I’ll definitely be there.
Rating – R
Runtime – 87 minutes
Genre – Horror Remake
Director(s) – Tim Sullivan
Writer(s) – Chris Kobin, Tim Sullivan
Actor(s) – Robert Englund, Lin Shaye, Giuseppe Andrews, Jay Gillespie, Marla Malcolm
BOB Rating – Three BOBs
Favorite Quote – "Frankly, Miss Pussy, I don't give a damn." - Harper Alexander (Giuseppe Andrews)