Lake Placid: Legacy

I told you so. The Final Chapter is never, EVER, the final chapter. There’s always another chapter. And sometimes, even another chapter after that!

The film starts in Las Vegas, with some kind of break-in, but not to steal something. They were hanging a banner. Whooooooa, what a bunch of badasses. I think they are supposed to be a group of environmental activists? In any case, the whole crew is dared to go explore a secret facility…full of giant fucking killer crocodiles.

I don’t know what the fuck was even going on the rest of the movie – it was so fuck-all boring! At one point, Joey Pants showed up, tied to a chair. No toupee, which was really weird. That just goes to show how low-budget this shitty film was – they couldn’t afford a toupee for Joe Pantoliano.

Were these even the same crocodiles from the other 5 movies? I found no relationship at all between this movie and the other five. No game wardens, no hillbillies, no mean old crocodile-feeding ladies – just a bunch of kids getting eaten, one by one. Holy fuck, were they trying to reboot the franchise? What assholes! Much like the horrible Leprechaun reboot, they left out everything good about the franchise. Assholes!