We watch shitty movies, so you don't have to…
View this post on Instagram A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Jan 5, 2020 at 4:39pm PST Good lord, this film was a boring-ass stinker! Look, I get it. Why not try to capture the “lightning in a bottle” success of the Sharknado films and put Ian Ziering in another water-based disaster […]
View this post on Instagram A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Nov 20, 2018 at 11:54am PST The kids and I have been watching Eli Roth’s History of Horror and the first episode was about zombies. I figure that the best way to introduce them is to begin with the film that […]
There has been nothing on my TV but the Winter Olympics for the last 2 weeks…so why not just go with it and watch a movie full of Snowboarders? I’m talking Mountain Dew, baby! A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Feb 20, 2018 at 4:37pm PST Obviously, I was drawn in by the title […]
Exactly what you fucking think it is. Zombie. Zoo. Animals. Thanks to The Asylum, for going where no film has gone before. It starts when the capuchin monkeys come down with a nasty virus, turn into zomb-onkeys and go beserk. Of course, they escape and start zombifying the rest of the zoo population. Zombie giraffes […]
We had a difficult decision tonight…Zombies Vs. Strippers or The Tale of the Voodoo Prostitute. I know…how on earth did we choose? Zombies Vs. Strippers is about a zombie invasion in a strip club, not to be confused with Zombie Strippers, a movie in which the strippers are actual zombies. Other than that, the films […]
Seriously? THIS is the best they could come up with? A bunch of pirates racing to find the fountain of youth? If pirates wanted to live forever, wouldn’t they take better care of their eyes and teeth? To be fair, it does pick up right after the third one left off, but still… Was anyone […]
I was starting to get bored until the Dynamite-tossing Amish guy showed up. Even then, it was still boring in between zombie attacks – probably because the characters kept talking and talking and talking about their predicament. As I’ve said before, it’s not that Existentialism has no place in Zombie movies…it just comes off as […]
I understand how Tallahassee feels about Twinkies, because that’s how I feel about Ding Dongs. In fact, I just finished one…I love me some Ding Dongs. The past couple of years have been a fight for Pop Culture Relevancy between zombies and vampires. The recent success of The Walking Dead indicates that zombies are pulling […]
They really didn’t need to do a lot to make Jenna Jameson look like a zombie, did they? Jenna Jameson stars as one of the titular stripper zombies. She becomes zombified after being attacked mid-dance by an infected soldier with a weapons grade virus. Maybe weapons grade isn’t the right term – the virus was […]
For the longest time, I thought this film was about vampires. For years, the poster for The Serpent and the Rainbow hung in the window at Showtime Video and creeped the bejesus out of me. (This is Waller we’re talking about – the posters only got changed when they were stolen or someone peed on […]