May 24, 2016

Exactly what you fucking think it is. Zombie. Zoo. Animals. Thanks to The Asylum, for going where no film has gone before.

It starts when the capuchin monkeys come down with a nasty virus, turn into zomb-onkeys and go beserk. Of course, they escape and start zombifying the rest of the zoo population. Zombie giraffes tearing folks limb from limb should be horrifying, but I just couldn’t stop laughing. The one truly horrifying “zoombie” was the Koala. Koalas are just so cute and so…chill. Zombie Koalas are NOT cute and definitely NOT chill.

No one I’ve ever heard of is in the cast and not single character is particularly memorable…except for the little girl, LaLa Nestor. The look on her face after she’s forced to bear Mr. Koala to death with a baseball bat…she’s seen some shit, man. That girl’s got a bright future ahead of her as a Scream Queen.

I didn’t expect this film to be good by any stretch of the imagination, but more than anything – it was just boring. There was nothing in between the CGI “zoombie” carnage scenes to keep the viewer entertained. Is it possible to laugh maniacally and snore at the same time?

Year – 2016
Rating – TV-14
Runtime – 117 minutes
Genre – What the Fuck?
Director(s) – Glenn Miller
Writer(s) – Scotty Mullen
Actor(s) – Ione Butler, Andrew Asper, LaLa Nestor, Kim Nielsen, Marcus Anderson
BOB Rating – One BOB
Favorite Quote –