March 31, 2016

Well, what’s the point of this now? The original is a classic, though not untouchable…there was a regrettable sequel in 1999 and then a mediocre TV remake on 2002. So what are they doing here?

It’s not horrible I guess. Chloë Grace Moretz was an interesting choice to play Carrie. She’s generally regarded as a good actress and I guess she is…but it seemed that most of her acting was done by flaring her nostrils. Maybe it’s her signature affectation – like Clooney’s headbobbing or the way Nicolas Cage slowly walks away from explosions.

You can’t make Julianne Moore unbeautiful. It’s just not possible. Even with no makeup and frizzy hair, playing Whackadoo Mrs. White, she’s stunning. She’s not quite as scary as Piper Laurie, but she’s pretty fucking scary. Coincidentally, Julianne Moore has history of starring in pointless remakes… Psycho anyone?

It wasn’t horrible, but this remake didn’t bring anything new to the table. Yes, it met it’s main objective, which was to be more twisted – but it wasn’t in a new way. The mother stabbed herself in the leg with a seam ripper – ooooh, she’s crazier. Carrie killed people more violently and gleefully. So? Chris was more of a bitch. Again, so what? Making a film more extreme, doesn’t necessarily make it better.

Year – 2013
Rating – R
Runtime – 100 minutes
Genre – Horror Remake
Director(s) – Kimberly Peirce
Writer(s) – Lawrence D. Cohen, Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, Stephen King
Actor(s) – Julianne Moore, Chloë Grace Moretz, Gabriella Wilde, Portia Doubleday, Judy Greer
BOB Rating – Two BOBs
Favorite Quote – "Are you gonna get him a boutonnière, or are you just gonna pin a bloody tampon to his lapel?" - Miss Desjardin (Judy Greer)