November 18, 1998

When Jeffrey Franken’s girlfriend, Elizabeth Shelley, is killed by his automated lawn mower, he decides to bring her back to life using the body parts of dead prostitutes. That’s the plot in a nutshell.

Plot is not important in Frankenhooker. Bad special effects are what’s important. Lame jokes are what’s important. This film has what’s important. Like drilling a hole into the correct quadrant of your brain would stimulate the correct nerve to give you a good idea. (Trepaning is gaining popularity these days…) Like a super-concentrated form of crack would cause the user to explode. Like a guinea pig would inhale crack fumes. Like an estrogen-based blood serum would enable female body parts to meld together forming breast monsters and walking heads.Yeah right. Who would believe that crap? Me, that’s who.

Exploding hookers. Deep freezers full of purple goo that keep body parts fresh. Lots of nudity. A weatherman that looks like the Phantom of the Opera. A flip-top head like in the toothbrush commercial. Good movie…good, good movie. Wanna date?

Year – 1990
Rating – R
Runtime – 85 minutes
Genre – T&A Horror
Director(s) – Frank Hennenlotter
Writer(s) – Frank Hennenlotter, Robert Martin
Actor(s) – James Lorinz
BOB Rating – Four BOBs
Favorite Quote – "Some people need drugs, some people need booze. I just need a little medical assistance." - Jeffrey Franken