May 27, 2003

Well. I think I have come to an important conclusion. Any movie that comes on at 9ish on a Sunday night will be crap. Most of them are so crappy that they don’t even rate reviews. (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, I’m looking at you.) A few are pretty stinky, but still good enough to rate me spending a few hours writing about them. Thir13en Ghosts rated a few weeks ago, as does Sorority Boys.

I wanted it to be as funny as Revenge of the Nerds, Animal House or even PCU. I would have settled for Van Wilder or Old School. Unfortunately, what I got was something about on par with Road Trip. Oh well, at least it was better than Dead Man on Campus.

The most disturbing thing about watching this film was that my husband was laughing WAY more than I was. How could this be possible? He doesn’t laugh at any film we watch together. Uh, nevermind – that’s probably because he usually picks the films we watch and science fiction isn’t funny. The few comedies we have watched together rarely rate more than a smile. Or maybe he just thinks that men in drag are the epitome of comedy. Who knows…

Barry Watson needs to figure out a niche in Hollywood and quick! 7th Heaven can only carry you so far, especially if your balding as fast as he is. Between Sorority Boys and Teaching Mrs. Tingle, he better get ready for a long career in 7th Heaven Reunion Specials.

Speaking of the bald, what the fuck was up with Michael Rosenbaum’s wig? Not the wig he wore as a chick, that was fine – the weird fuzzy wig he wore as a dude. What the hell was that? A dead chipmunk? We all know he’s bald underneath – you can’t grow that much hair in the few weeks he had off from Smallville to film this. What kind of pussyhound frat boy has a dead chipmunk on his head? If there was only a Hollywood Bad Wig Hall of Fame.

So, when will Harland Williams get his own sitcom? He’s at least as funny as the rest of the cast of Half Baked. Dave Chappelle’s already got his own show. When is it Harland’s turn? (No, hosting Premium Blend after Jim Breuer left does not count!)

Oh yeah, I guess I should talk about the movie. Standard Some Like it Hot plotline – three dudes dress like chicks in order to hide from assholes and/or have a cheap place to live. Hilarity ensues, the guys become more sensitive and they inevitably get closer to the women they cohabitate with. Lots of dildos. Lots of gay sex jokes. Suspicious lack of Seann William Scott, the HoYay! King.

Year – 2002
Rating – R
Runtime – 93 minutes
Genre – Teen Movie
Director(s) – Wallace Wolodarsky
Writer(s) – Joe Jarvis, Greg Coolidge
Actor(s) – Barry Watson, Michael Rosenbaum, Harland Williams, Melissa Sagemiller, Heather Matarazzo
BOB Rating – Two BOBs
Favorite Quote – "She hit me in my ba...VAGINA!" - Doofer (Harland Williams)