July 2, 2011

I was riveted before the credits started. Fucking shit, how did I not see this when it came out? Or at least any time in the last 12 years?

Now I understand the long line to see Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery at Texas Frightmare Weekend. I was pretty sure it wasn’t because of Blade II or Mongolian Death Worm, but I didn’t fully understand until I saw the film. They were like modern day superheroes, taking out the mob in the name of the lord. I questioned their inclusion in a Horror Convention, but truth be told, the body count was higher than most horror movies. I stopped counting at 30…

Sean Patrick Flanery *would* have been dead fucking sexy if I hadn’t shared an elevator with him at Frightmare. He’s not freakishly short or Tom Cruise tiny, but he is a small, thin man. Also, no neck tattoo in real life…

Every single person in the film smokes. This film should have a Surgeon General’s Warning, because it is dangerous to my health.

I could have used subtitles…I know I missed half of what the McManus Brothers were saying…dirty Irish mumblers.

Ron fucking Jeremy! And Jeanna Fine! Erin and I LOVE her! She is the star of our favorite porn scene EVER…the one in the barn…you know the one…

“I can’t believe that just fucking happened!” Do I need to start a new list for Pussy Trauma?

Willem Dafoe…I have no words for his performance. He kept surprising me, over and over and over again. I can’t say more, can’t spoil any of his surprises…

So there’s a sequel that came out within the last few years…it’s on the DVR, waiting for me. It


Year – 1999
Rating – NC-17
Runtime – 108 minutes
Genre – Vigilante Fun
Director(s) – Troy Duffy
Writer(s) – Troy Duffy
Actor(s) – Sean Patrick Flanery, Norman Reedus, Willem Dafoe, David Della Rocco, Billy Connolly
BOB Rating – Four BOBs
Favorite Quote – "We're sorta like 7-Eleven. We're not always doing business, but we're always open." - Murphy (Norman Reedus)