Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

I never saw Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory as a child. I was a 19 year old college student – and it definitely fucked with my head. (There’s a time and place for everything, children. It’s called college.) Consequently, I’m missing all those warm and fuzzy feelings that made so many die hard fans […]

Starsky & Hutch

Will the remakes ever end? I know the answer – the answer is no. As soon as the 60s and 70s well runs dry, say hello to big screen remakes of 80s shows – it’s not a stretch to imagine robot-child Dakota Fanning playing robot-child Viki in the big-screen version of Small Wonder. Until the […]

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

How did she fit that gun in her vag? Furthermore, once she got it up there, how did she get it to stay there? Although there are many other fascinating topics of conversation that I could expound upon relating to the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre – there’s only one that comes to mind […]

Thir13en Ghosts

I got tricked into watching it. Okay, not tricked exactly. My husband waited until I wasn’t paying attention – peeling potatoes – and he changed the channel. By the time I noticed…it was too late, the movie had begun…then he admitted that he tricked me. He knew that I would have said no if he […]

Willard (2003)

How is it possible that while watching the best film I’ve seen so far this year, I had the worst film-watching experience I have ever had in my entire life? Review after review, I complain that my husband won’t ever take me to the movies. Poor me, whenever he does take me to see a […]

Josie and the Pussycats

The best thing about this film was the dopey Boy Band, Du Jour (French for “of the day”). They were unbelievably GAY – but not any more so that real Boy Bands, like NSYNC or The Backstreet Boys. I was surprised by their nasty song, ‘Backdoor Lover.’ The film was pretty funny, but not for […]

Psycho (1998)

A shot by shot remake of Psycho – what’s the fucking point? This was a pointless waste of celluloid. If you’re gonna remake any film, much less a classic – you should have something to add. The only thing that was added were Anne Heche’s miniscule breasts and Vince Vaughn jacking off. Neither were necessary […]

Charlie’s Angels

It didn’t suck as bad as I thought it would. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Nov 19, 2017 at 10:33am PST I never really liked the TV show. It just didn’t have the cheezy panache of say, Knight Rider or The A-Team, or even Manimal. I would rather watch 20 hours of Teletubbies […]

Nutty Professor II: The Klumps

I am now stupider for having watched this. Admittedly, I laughed my ass off while I was watching The Klumps, but I felt so bad about it afterwards. Any scene with the Klumps in it was hilarious – but any scene without them was just boring – especially the ones with Buddy Love. The Buddy […]

Mission: Impossible 2

It was okay, I guess. No boobies, no blood. First off, it is a major James Bond rip-off. But all spy movies seem like James Bond rip-offs, since the James Bond movies are the ultimate in the genre. But this really seemed like one. And I do not know how intentional it was – a […]