December 29, 2005

Will the remakes ever end?

I know the answer – the answer is no. As soon as the 60s and 70s well runs dry, say hello to big screen remakes of 80s shows – it’s not a stretch to imagine robot-child Dakota Fanning playing robot-child Viki in the big-screen version of Small Wonder.

Until the apocalypse brings rivers of blood and a big screen remake of Saved by the Bell, you could do worse than Starsky and Hutch…although it comes off more as a remake of Zoolander than the actual TV show. I must have watched the show when it was originally on, but I’ll be damned if I can remember anything about it. I have no way to gauge the faithfulness of the remake or whether it was simply an excuse for Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson to hang out together and get paid. Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson have undeniable chemistry. Forget the Martin and Lewis comparisons, we’re talking Bogart and Bacall here. Christine Taylor should have serious concerns about her husband riding the Butterscotch Stallion off into the sunset.

As always, the funniest bit was with Will Ferrell. Angry dragon? WTF? Maybe a law should be passed that all movies are mandated to have a Will Ferrell cameo in order to released in the United States. I rue the day that Ferrell pulls a Jim Carrey and starts the Oscar pandering. That right there will be the end of the funny and a sad day in film history.

Vince Vaughn is another one of my favorites – but what’s happened to his body since Clay Pigeons? It’s just a bit of middle-aged squish, not repulsive at all…but it sure isn’t sex-on-a-stick like Lester Long. Or maybe it’s method acting?

Jason Bateman on the big screen. How long has it been? Teen Wolf Too? (I saw it in the theater and it was AWESOME. Don’t hate.

Oh yeah – Patton Oswalt is sweet too – sweeter than a pussy soaked in apple juice.


Year – 2004
Rating – PG-13
Runtime – 101 minutes
Genre – TV Show Remake
Director(s) – Todd Phillips
Writer(s) – John O'Brien, Todd Phillips, Scot Armstrong
Actor(s) – Owen Wilson, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Snoop Dogg, Jason Bateman
BOB Rating – Two BOBs
Favorite Quote – "Oh, eureka. God, that's nice. It's like a little bowl of oatmeal with a hole in it. I got one too. I just got a little more brown sugar on mine." - Big Earl (Will Ferrell)