June 19, 2000

This is it…as of now, I have seen every single John Water film that is available to be seen…and I saved the most fucked-up for last!

Divine isn’t in it – but it’s still great. Jean Hill more than fills the space vacated by Divine (literally and figuratively). David Lochary is sadly missed from this one as well…

Mortville is a town full of criminally inclined Lesbians, ruled by the evil Queen Carlotta and her pack of S&M goons. This is your chance to see some really hot sex scenes with Edith Massey and hot young studs (?!?!?!?) She and Princess CooCoo are the only non-lesbians in Mortville…

Peggy Gravel and her nurse, Grizelda end up in Mortville after ‘accidentally’ killing Peggy’s husband and escaping a cop who likes to wear women’s underwear. This is all established within the first 10 minutes!

My boyfriend says I have thing for watching movies where guys get their dicks cut off…it’s because I had him watch The Doom Generation within the first few weeks we dated…seriously, I don’t, I LOVE penises! So I have him watch Pink Flamingos for the first time the other night and before it even starts, he asks “No one gets their dick cut off, do they?” Me – “NO! Of course n….wait, um yeah, actually they do….” Somehow, I still got him to watch it, but you should have seen the look on his face during the ‘Do my balls, Mama!’ scene…Anyway, back to my point, here is another film to add to the pile of “dicks getting cut off” films…but at least in this one, it is a girl getting her penis cut off and she’s doing the cutting herself.

For all you pervs out there, there is an abundance of lesbian sex scenes in this film. (GUYS – Keep in mind the fact this is John Waters – do not watch them with Lubriderm in hand – you could be scarred for life!) I’m not sure which was worse – Jean Hill squishing Mink Stole under 400 pounds of woman or Queen Carlotta getting it from a Robert Maplethorpe reject or post-sex-change bull dyke trying to get it on with 50 year old stripper, Liz Renay.

I long for the days of vintage John Waters. Desperate Living is truly the last of his ‘Trash Art.’

 

Year – 1977
Rating – X
Runtime – 90 minutes
Genre – John Waters
Director(s) – John Waters
Writer(s) – John Waters
Actor(s) – Liz Renay, Mink Stole, Edith Massey, Mary Vivian Pearce, Jean Hill
BOB Rating – Four BOBs
Favorite Quote – "Now I won't have any organs! It'll be like having a Barbie doll crotch!" - Mole McHenry (Susan Lowe)