Sharktopus fucking tried to eat me!

Sharktopus is not picky.

Sharktopus will eat sharks, old boat painters, bungee jumpers, surfer dudes, Volkswagens…Sharktopus is nasty! Sharktopus just doesn’t give a fuck.

Sharktopus escapes from a Navy funded super-secret genetic lab in Long Beach. Sharktopus wants a fucking vacation, so Sharktopus heads to Puerto Vallarta. Crazy, nasty ass Sharktopus wants some Mexican food.

Sharktopus will walk on land, Sharktopus don’t care. Sharktopus WILL eat your whole fucking boat. Thanks for the meal, stupid.

Sharktopus says Eric Roberts looked fucking high as a kite. “I’m not fucking eating that,” says Sharktopus. (Sharktopus must have been made before his stint on Celebrity Rehab.)

Sharktopus even has its own fucking theme song! Sharktopus will be back, nothing stops the crazy, nasty-ass Sharktopus.