The Wisdom of Crocodiles

Before he was an Enemy at the Gates or hung out with in Italy with Matt Damon, Jude Law was just a vampire. A strange sexy vampire.

This is the most understated vampire film that I have ever seen. Jude Law’s Steven Grlscz isn’t you’re average Euro Fag vampire. No, he’s a vampire with a day job. By day, he’s a respected medical researcher; by night, well, he tries to sleep. None of the usual vampire cliches here, folks. No coffins, bats or howling wolves. Actually, Steven is never referred to as a vampire at all. The simple fact that he bites girls on the neck to drink their blood is only thing vampire-y about him.

See, Steven doesn’t live off the women’s blood alone – he lives off the love inside their blood. He finds a girl and makes her fall madly in love with him. He becomes whatever that woman wants him to be. Then, Steven believes she loves him perfectly, he moves in for the kill. Unfortunately, no love is perfect…

Ironically, his final love is Anna, played by Elina Löwensohn, who starred in Nadja, another vampire flick. Professor Sean says that Nadja is pretty kinky, so I’ll have to check out that one as well.

Jude Law’s wife, Sadie Frost played Lucy in Bram Stoker’s Dracula, one of the worst vampire movies ever made. It’s even worse than Sucker: The Vampire.

The film’s a little slow at first, then it keeps on getting slower. Even so, it was so strange that I was compelled to keep on watching. I wanted to go pee about 20 minutes into it, but I couldn’t make myself get up.