Heathers

Poor Veronica (Winona Rider). Beautiful, rich and popular and she still hates her life. She gets to do Christian Slater and still is depressed. Probably because her friends are all assholes – and they’re all named ‘Heather’. Who hasn’t fantasized about blowing their high school sky high? I still do and I just finished college. […]

The Doom Generation

This is my second favorite film of all time. I’m not sure why. I don’t know anybody else who likes this film. No one. It made my friend Stacy cry. Another friend, Justin, tells anyone who asks that they should “Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never ever” watch this film. That’s right, eight […]

Frankenhooker

When Jeffrey Franken’s girlfriend, Elizabeth Shelley, is killed by his automated lawn mower, he decides to bring her back to life using the body parts of dead prostitutes. That’s the plot in a nutshell. Plot is not important in Frankenhooker. Bad special effects are what’s important. Lame jokes are what’s important. This film has what’s […]

Orgazmo

Written by, directed by and starring South Park co-creater Trey Parker…Oh, what a heavy burden to bear. The pressure to supply big laughs must be an almost unbearable burden by now. But probably not…. Trey Parker is a Mormon missionary in LA. He gets talked into being a porn star – because he needs the […]

There’s Something About Mary

I have not seen Dumb and Dumber, nor do I plan on it anytime in the future. Even my mother told me I should see it, but Jim Carrey is like someone running their fingernails down a chalkboard. She also is the one who said I should see Kingpin. Woody Harrelson is pretty hot, so […]

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

As I walked into the theater on opening night, I noticed two things – first, somehow this film hadn’t sold out as I thought it would and second, two different showings of ‘The Horse Whisperer’ had. This could only mean one thing – I was in Plano, Texas. By the time that the previews began, […]

Meet the Feebles

I am from the ‘Muppet Show’ era. My favorite episode was the one with Liza Minnelli. In it, she and that big ugly monster (that I can never remember the name of) did a musical number to Copacabana. Imagine Liza Minnelli naked on rollerskates, smoking crack while the big ugly monster sells acid to schoolchildren […]