Aquaman

 

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I’m not sure which one of us started it, but my son and I have been calling this movie ‘Wet Thor’ for months and months. On the surface, the comparison between the two is obvious – long-haired, built like a god, kinda dumb. Once I’d finished the film though, my opinion had changed – it’s not ‘Wet Thor’, it’s ‘Wet Panther’.

There are so many more similarities between the ascension of Aquaman and Black Panther’s battles against Killmonger. Of course, Aquaman is the interloper, not the crown prince, but you get where I’m going. Atlantis is a technologically advanced secret world, hiding right under our noses – kinda like Wakanda. There are several warring tribes in Atlantis, just like Wakanda. Neither world has a Starbucks, either – just saying…

Just as Black Panther has a strong woman by his side in Nakia (or two if you count Okoye), Aquaman has Mera. I was expecting to hate Amber Heard, but she wasn’t as annoying as I thought she would be. I mean – she’s not a particularly good actress, but she isn’t horrible. I loved her hair so much that I died my hair the same shade of red the very same day we saw the film. (What, you don’t keep a rainbow of hair dye in your bathroom like I do?)

Aquaman’s dad is Boba Fett’s dad! They are brothers!

De-aging was used A LOT in this film. Yes, it was cute how they made Aquaman’s parents look younger in the prologue – makes sense. The REAL SCIENCE though, was how they made Willem Dafoe look young and sexy again. It was The Last Temptation of Vulko.

There was one part of the film that divided our family completely – the octopus playing the bongos. While my husband thought it was completely cheesy and ridiculous, the rest of us liked it. My daughter even said it was her favorite part! (The low point for me was when they ended up in Jurassic World – no spoilers, but that part was bullshit.)

Ultimately, Aquaman succeeds because of its complete separation from the rest of the Justice League. The only threats were encapsulated in Aquaman’s world – no need to get the rest of thise assholes involved. Kudos to James Wan! Can we just keep getting goid standalone feautures like Wonder Woman and Aquaman, instead the trainwreck DC ensembles?

On a side noteotee, previews were mostly ones I’d seen – Avengers: Endgame, the Hellboy reboot (as much as I love Ron Perlman’s Hellboy, I ain’t even mad about this reboot), The Lego Movie 2 – but I had not see the one for Detective Pikachu. As the only one in my household who is not a Pokemaster, I know I wouldn’t get even half of the film…but it still looks kinda cute. This summer is gonna get expensive!