I was disappointed that not a single character uttered the immortal line, “Did I do that?”

How could they hire Steve Urkel without acknowledging his status as the 3rd greatest nerd ever? (In case you’re wondering, Lewis Skolnick and Farmer Ted are 1st and 2nd.) I can’t argue with The Asylum’s formula, washed-up stars from our childhood are great at hunting gigantic killer creatures. Not that Urkel is typecast, but he plays a somewhat nerdy Navy scientist. After Mega Shark kills his fiancĂ©e, Urkel joins an elite team of creature killers led by the holographic doctor from Star Trek: The Next Generation. (I guess Debbie Gibson failed to kill Mega Shark in the first film, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.)

Crocosaurus is laying hundreds of eggs in the ocean. Don’t ask how a 50 foot tall reptile got into the ocean, it doesn’t matter. Anyway, Mega Shark is attracted to the Crocosaurus eggs – apparently they’re delicious – and chaos ensues.

The Asylum has no concept of geography…or time. After being spotted in Newfoundland, Crocosaurus destroys Miami minutes later. Crocosaurus then strolls over to Orlando and eats Shamu, which I admit, made me chuckle. Urkel then attempts to trap both creatures in the Panama Canal, but after that fails, he lures them to Hawaii with his “sonic spheres.” Stop laughing! That’s what he called them!

Pretty boring as far as these types of movies go. It was no Sharktopus or Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, I nearly fell asleep! I hardle ever start to nod off while watching a movie – that’s just not the knobby way.