Shrek the Third

“Willy Wonka” might be about to lose his place as my son’s favorite movie. “Shrek Babies” was the overwhelming favorite over the holidays.

My son was the fortunate recipient of all three Shrek movies, courtesy of Grandpa and Grandma. I tried to go the logical route and start him off watching Shrek, but he was having none of it. He demanded that I take it out of the DVD player immediately and put in “Shrek Babies.” As far as I know, he’s never seen Shrek the Third, but I guess there’s a chance he’s seen it at daycare. (Although every fucking time I walk in the door, they’re watching High School Musical, so I doubt it.) I’m not sure how to explain his obsession and preference for “Shrek Babies.” Has advertising gotten so laser focused that they have figured out how to penetrate the mind of a two year old? I know he’s seen about a jillion TV commercials for the DVD – the first time he saw one, he looked at me and said, “I want to see that.” I guess I should just brace myself for the onslaught of commercial induced begging and pleading now….

Although arguing the point with my son would do little good, I feel obligated to point out that “Shrek Babies” is a bit of a misnomer when it comes to this film. The aforementioned “Shrek Babies” only appear for about 5 minutes – so disappointing! Personally, I am much more fond of the “Drongkey Babies” that appear much more often in the film. Partially because they are cuter, but mostly because every time they appear, my mind wanders to the astronomically confusing physics that must have been necessary for Donkey and Dragon to bump uglies. Or are they the result of some mad magician’s crazy IVF experiments? The mind boggles at the possibilities…

Justin Timberlake is meh…his performance is not even noticeable – they should’ve hired the guy who played Napoleon Dynamite. There’s only one thing he’s good for…dick in a box!

Although I enjoyed Shrek the Third as much as the first and second ones – they’re starting to get a bit formulaic. Is Dreamworks really going to keep spitting these out every three years?